[Issue #42] The Truth About the Process
Or, why I haven't posted a podcast interview with best-selling and award-winning author Jenna Moreci until...now.
“I think of my life now as a second childhood.”
-Jenna Moreci
Find the interview with Jenna here
It was December, 2022, here in my basement with the winter months falling onto the ground in snow and ice in the mid-west. My heart pushed past my resignation to beat itself into courage - I, legs stiff and hands shaking, sent an interview request (randomly) to Jenna Moreci, who I’d been following closely on YouTube for several years.
Why did I want to interview Jenna for the show?
I heard Jenna give an interview of a different, more personal, sort on the World Anvil podcast (World Anvil is a website built for writers, game-masters and storytellers), where she spoke about her personal trauma, history with autism, and how she managed to build such an influential YouTube channel, now boasting more than 279,000 followers and over 360 videos. I wanted to talk to Jenna about how she did it, growing from her first 20 followers into the phenomenal influence she’s become today. I wanted to ask Jenna about her creation process as someone on the neuro-divergent scale. I wanted to find out how Jenna navigated her own trauma while still launching a very successful indy-author career.
To hear someone who, to me, seems so outwardly successful not only openly discuss and talk about their mental health issues, but be so willing to have a similar discussion with me about some of these same issues left me feeling validated, and apparently, terrified to hit “publish” on that episode with Jenna. Why?
For a long time, I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t get myself to edit down, let alone, publish that episode. Jenna kindly agreed to the interview only a week later, through email, without ever having spoken to me or knowing who the hell I was. At that point, I’m Not Triggered was just 8 months old with less than 200 subscribers. To me, there was nothing in it for Jenna Moreci. But when she said yes!, I think I almost passed out. The thought of 279,000 people being told I exist, or worse better, that my newsletter exists and is worthy of being shared and read, paralyzed me. The truth has a way of doing that, doesn’t it?
While I sent the interview request email, including my newsletter and a bit of a bio in hopes of gaining that yes, I however, wasn’t all that prepared for it. We set up the interview for a couple months out, in mid February of 2023 (which has obviously come and gone) and I immediately began panic-Googling interview questions, re-reading Jenna’s work (I have her first fantasy book on order and I can’t wait to read it!) thoroughly for my own notes, and finding the courage to seem not-so-terrified to do an interview with another person.
Well, it’s nearly August and you may have noticed there’s no podcast episode with Jenna. In fact, you’ve probably noticed there’s a lack of audio episodes at all.
It’s not a lack of desire, me not doing the audio posts, but rather, a lack of consistent time that I can pump into it. I’m working on a fix - which involves some major self-care to help alleviate my current burnout, and a bit of acceptance of my fear that no one is or will be listening. As a creator, I put work out into the world in the hopes it will be consumed (hopefully enjoyably, but I can’t really control that), not sit stagnant on a server’s cloud someplace I’ll never get to visit. But I recently realized I can’t control that, either. The only thing I can control is creating, producing, editing, publishing my work. And then, to accept that my work in that regard is done.
In this reframing of mine, I’m inviting you in to listen to the interview I did with Jenna in February of 2023, just as we were moving out of the pandemic and back into a more “normal” society. In the interview, among other things, we discuss what it’s like to be neuro-divergent - Jenna speaks about her experiences as a child with autism and later in life, and as a business-owner and award-winning author, and I speak from the perspective of a traumatic brain injury and the self-defeating beliefs that come with it. We talk about what it’s like to own a business that is built on content-creation, especially when you’re struggling with mental health issues like depression and PTSD. We delve into the publishing world, writing with the commitment to yourself and what it takes to build the life you want, regardless of trauma.
I loved talking with Jenna, and I want you to listen to Jenna for yourselves and feel inspired and moved by all she has accomplished - you can find the podcast with Jenna Moreci here, and follow Jenna’s YouTube here and find Jenna’s books here!
As I was editing the video down, I laughed a lot and I forgot just how inviting and warm Jenna is. It felt like we’d met a hundred times before, and I am so grateful for her time and energy. I am grateful I’ve found the courage to release what we created together and I hope you enjoy it and gain something helpful from it (email me and let me know!).
A part of me has wanted to post this interview with Jenna since I did it - the larger, louder, self-defeating side of me told me I wasn’t worthy. But I am worthy.
You can find past (and current) audio episodes right here and you can upgrade your subscription to support my work and listen to every episode of the podcast (past and future!) below.
If a reader wrote to tell me they were considering stopping (or already decided to stop) producing the podcast to their newsletter, my first question would be ‘why?. The second question would be ‘and that’s stopping you because?. The only one stopping me, is me. Posting this interview is, in some ways, me getting out of my own way.
I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I did. Please send your thoughts and comments along and let me know what you think - my wise Self is sending more interview requests to other people I find fascinating and think would be a great fit for the show. And I’m working on re-launching the podcast in the coming weeks; stay-tuned for updates!
"Everyone deserves to feel beautiful. It is your God-given right to look in the mirror and love what you see. Never mind the imperfections -we're all imperfect, after all. But people tend to get so caught up in what they are lacking, they forget to appreciate all that they have."
— Jenna Moreci (Eve: The Awakening (Eve, #1)